weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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