I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
