my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If I die, sorry about rent.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize