Is it normal to miss your booty call?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I think I sprained my soul last night
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
