You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
