new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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