I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
