He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
