i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
