you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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