sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I am one with the molecules
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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