some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
