i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
