i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
