i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
