Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
