Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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