yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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