Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
