you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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