I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Randomize