Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now heโs decided heโs spending the weekend with his family
In other news, thereโs some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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