I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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