I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
