How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Small penises have feelings too.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
