Kiss
Puke
She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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