I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
