Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
