I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
