As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
