Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
