I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Randomize
