they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
