My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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