I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
