i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
