Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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