I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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