Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Randomize
