does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
