I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
