I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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