I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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