Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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