oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
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