I feel like abortions should bother me more
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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