Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
