And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize