At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize