oh god the rape fog is back!
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
