matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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