was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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