he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
