My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
im six kinds of drunk right now
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
