i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
