Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
