the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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