I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I got inside last night via doggy door
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
