Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
