I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
