I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize