I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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