I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My vagina is very pro this idea
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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