I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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