We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
