STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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