my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
