I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
