His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
