who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
