walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
