Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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