He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
